Isolation, The Need For Humanity – The Hidden Cost Of Running A Business

Being misunderstood, realizing that most acquaintances, and many friends may just be using you out of convenience can be a painful reality of owning a business.  Especially a niche like automotive detailing!  For those that think I or the reader this resonates is just a terrible human being, this message resonates with many people in the industry.  It is a lot harder for people in a niche business to form connections outside of the industry than most people realize.  Sometimes even within the detailing industry!

One of the most respected names in the industry, who I will not mention, changed his preferred ceramic coating.  He lost followers in the industry and received hateful private messages.  All of this hate was due to him making a personal business decision, that did directly affect anyone but himself and his clients.

Empathy to understand a small business owner is currency rare as a jewel.

If someone was to ask, after the fact, how many small business owners had challenges in their relationships, dealt with depression, and lost people they saw as friends, I believe what is obvious to me would shock most of the population.  It is not just about the alleged friend that wants and is shocked you cannot do free work or give a significant discount.  It is that person that cannot see behind the $1,800 invoice and see $700 coming back to you, while believing you are a bad person for not charging $900 or less to go above and beyond.  Often running a business is a cruel way to see that really you do not have as many REAL friends as you realize.

Another reality we have to acknowledge is time and energy spent that a regular employee who works from 9am to 5pm may not.  It is a double edge sword, that we can not always account for.  It takes a lot out of us, what we invest of ourselves for the success of a business.  Sometimes that means more personal time sacrificed for the greater good of growing a business.  There is a line to cross where this becomes unhealthy.  But even being reasonable to yourself, there will be times you will be invested in your business especially with unforeseen emergencies that hold our attention.  Not everybody in the outside world is going to be understanding.

And then there is the general perception of those in the Detailing industry.  I remember there was a lady I had not heard from a long time.  She seemed happy to hear from me.  I told her I started a business.  Excited she asked, “what did I do?”  I did not hear from this person since.

I have been given the ‘cold shoulder’ as well by people in the industry, whom I wanted to thank and show appreciation for.  Having a great sense of self means knowing that deep down, whether good or bad, that rejection is about them.  I suspect many of those same distant people are guarded in their own feeling of isolation, perhaps just like myself (or you).  I also remind myself how often I can be guilty of losing track of all of the times people in the industry have been very complimentary towards me.  How often do you think about the times people have told you, that you have made an impact on their life?  You should think about it more, because you matter!

This article was written for a few reasons.  For one, I thought this might be ‘too much’.  Too uncomfortable and too provocative!  I was motivated to create this for that same reason.  Sometimes people are mostly a fairy-tale about running a business which is not reality, even if it is worth it.  For those that are willing to take on the challenge, I want you to be prepared.  But I also wrote this article to remind all of the small business owners that they are not alone.  Even though it feels like it sometimes!